  Jennifer Lopez is in actuality a lizard. The scaled singer can also change her colour to blend in with her background.
She also has to be kept at a constant temperature of 75 degrees Fahrenheit, or she will die. During a routine medical examination by doctors in Boston, Massachusetts it was discovered that Callista Flockheart who plays pungent TV Cop Ally McBeal is over 500 years old. Flockheart puts her longevity down to her diet which consists entirely of the small packets of Silica Gel found in discarded shoe boxes. Every year in Manhattan, 300 people are treated for bites from anemic actor David Schwimmer. Although not actually poisonous a bite from Schwimmer can cause a nasty swelling.In the same period 1500 New Yorkers are treated for bites from myopic Woody Allen .  Sean Connery has the amazing ability to start fires by simply rubbing his haunches against some dry wood or paper. Connery discovered this power while on the set of ' Never Say Never Again ' where he accidentally started a small bush fire near Eddie Kidd's trailer.
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 It is impossible to see tiny actress Jennifer Love Hewitt with the naked eye. The microscopic Scream actress has to be filmed with a special magnifying camera and then added into the scenes with her co-stars with special effects. Dale Winton the British television presenter has requested his skin to be made into a sofa in the event of his death.
Should this not be possible for any reason Dale is to be frozen until a time when it is. Dales love of sofas stems from a crush he had on an old Chesterfield that his parents owned.  The S in S Club 7 stands for SATAN - The teensy pop group sold their souls to the Dark Lord and praise him through backward lyrics hidden in their songs.Expose them here
 The record for the loudest sneeze ever is held by Andrea Corr the lead singer of the Corrs.
The ear shattering sneeze weighed in at over 150 decibels and caused Andreas face to implode.
She still blames the sneeze for ruining her singing voice. As demonstrated on the new single 'Breathless' Andrea cannot hold the same note for longer than 2 seconds. |
 Mariah Carey has a thick fur all over her body. She was discovered by her then husband Jim, singing in a carnival freak show in New Mexico. She has just signed a lucrative advertising deal with Gillette. Scientists studying the common cold virus have discovered that a special cheese obtained from Leonardo Di Caprio's milk can stop the infection dead in it's tracks.
Plans to cross Di Caprio's with a dairy cow have been blasted as 'sacrilegious' by the Hindu community.
 The mind of the 'Stardust' actor David Essex has been officially declared the dirtiest mind in Britain. Mr Essex has non-stop 24 hour a day filth peculating deep inside his disturbed head.
It is strictly forbidden for anybody under the age of 21 to indulge in the Essex mind. In Peru when a cat scratches either his or her owner or the couch they are sentenced to five years in a maximum security ' Cat Prison' where the feline offenders are kept in small cages.
Dogs however, when found guilty of biting an owner are shot repeatedly and then burnt. |
