The entire national health service was put on standby yesterday when Buckingham palace officials announced that her Majesty the Queen was feeling queasy.|
Sources close to the Queen said she had also been ' feeling a little off colour ' and thought that she may well have a touch of The Lurgee '
" The royal state of health is a serious business " said top Harley street physician Dr.Padvinder Singh " Why I myself have been called out to attend to Princess Anne on many an occasion, sometimes even as late as nine o clock at night, it's a 24 hour a day job ".
Fears over the Queens health have been escalating since last June when a tour of East Indies had to be cancelled because her Majesty was suffering from Billeousness.
Concern has also been raised regarding the medical condition of the rest of the royal family.
" The rest of the family are well " said Prince Phillip in a televisual interview recorded for Sky television " Charles and Harry were feeling a bit peaky this morning but cook made them some consommé and they were right as rain by lunchtime ". he then continued to blame the sudden outbreak of royal ill health on 'The Darkies' and even commented that " They are rife with disease " and " Looked like they needed a bloody good wash ".
The Queen Mother is not believed to be in any danger of contracting her daughters queasyness because she had her digestive tract and stomach removed following an operation in 1994 to dislodge a kipper bone that had become wedged there, and is now fed a special blend of caviar and royal jelly through a complicated drip system.
The cause of the royal queasyness is still unknown and a full scale investigation by a crack team of dermatologists is underway and teams are now working round the clock to fumigate an area of some four square miles around the Queens London residence. The Queen still went ahead with todays scheduled royal waving despite her doctors advice.
On a lighter note however Princess Margaret fell down some stairs today whilst drunk on gin and broke both her legs.