Liam Gallagher in four letter word outburst shocker Moon Banner

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Pop star Liam Gallagher has once again made the headlines.

Gallagher who makes up one sixteenth of the pop duo Oasis, has recently been in the tabloids following his divorce from professional ex wife Patty Kensit. The couple split, after Liam 'give her a slap' for being 'lippy' to him suggesting that he needed bath.
Patty left the couples $ 40,000,000 home along with her son by Liam, Lennon Chelsea Boot Beatle Wig Gallagher and moved in with her mother whilst she plans her next divorce from a member of the pop community.

In an attempt to prove to the world that he is more than a semi evolved simian, Liam threw himself into his childhood passion, as he explained to our reporter:

" I was always good at it when I was a kid like. I used to do it for hours with Noel, I was always better than him like, cos he's a piss head, know what I mean, like, and you can't play Scrabble when your pissed up can you, you know what I mean, like ? "

Mr Gallagher was competing in a tournament this weekend organized by the Burnage Working Mens Social Club when the incident occurred.
During his final match against opponent 14 year old Mickey Ormsley, the former singer, shocked and stunned the the dozens of spectators with an outburst of four letter words.

" I've never seen 'owt like it ", said club chairman Peter Postlewaite " I've been seeing t' social clubs scrabble matches f' years now, and what young Liam did, well, I've never seen 'owt like it before ".

During the 720 minute match, Liam (30) placed no more than 4 letters on the board at any given time, and in most cases only added 3 letters to words placed there by his opponent. " I don't know how he did it, " Mr Postlewaite continued " In all my years I've never seen anyone play they way using only 3 or 4 letters at a time, t' poor lad he were playin' didn't know if he were comin' or goin'. But rules is rules, and if Gallagher wants t' play that way, I can't do owt about it ".

The Scrabble playing community has also voiced some concerns over Liam's choice and spelling of words " We understand that Mr Gallagher is a well respected lyricist, but we are concerned that his choice of words may be outside the conventional rules of Scrabble ." Said Mr Alec Smart of the World Scrabble Foundation " We understand that Mr Gallagher won his match due to his insistence that Oasis is really spelled Oase, and although that may well be true in Turkish, the standard English spelling contains far more letters ".

Other words that concerned the foundation were:
  • FOOK
  • WANG
  • MADD
  • FRIT
  • AVIT
  • LARJ
  • MAMM
  • ARZE
  • KUNT
  • PIST

  • and
  • FITE

We tried to contact Mr Gallagher for a comment, but we were told to " FOOK OFF, YOU KNOB 'EADS " through the letter box.

Liam's twin Brother Noel Gallagher did however agree to speak to us. We asked him for his opinion on the matter.

" He's a twat, " he told us matter of factly " He's a real twat, daft twat don't have a clue how to play, but he's our kid, and he'll be a twat, know what I mean.

The new Oasis ( or Oase ) album is due for release in August 2002. The album is expected to contain the songs XMBH and UMKB both penned by Liam and inspired by his last Scrabble victory.

Noel however is planning to take on all comers at the up coming BUCKAROO ! world championship in Salford.

" It's a mans game ". he told us " Not for soft shites like our kid ".

The Moon and all it's stories are copyrighted to Covered in Bees Productions Productions June Y2K or 062000.
The views expressed here are meant for humourous interpretation only..


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